What do women want?
An exploration of role freedom
Gender roles used to be more delineated but now women and men find themselves choosing their roles more freely. This can be a wonderful opportunity for women to choose to work outside the home. They can set examples for their children, volunteer, run a company and be part of what used to be the “boys only club” within the corporate world. The negative side is that women may feel overwhelmed by trying to do it all. Being a mother, exemplary employee, loving wife, immaculate housekeeper, and excellent cook while looking like you have it all together, both emotionally and physically, is a lot to pull off.
Appreciation and Respect for Women’s Role
Women want to feel appreciated and valued by their partners and their bosses. Sometimes we need to know we are doing a good job and what we are is enough. We want flexible employers whom allow us to come up with creative work-life balance solutions. We want partners who are willing to pick up the slack around the house when we have a busy week and who know how to listen without trying to fix it. We desire friends who will join us in our hobbies and empathize with our dilemmas.
Saying No to the Good, Saying Yes to the Bad
Do we ask for too much? No, we are often giving to those around us in so many ways. So asking for something in return is more than equitable. We often say Yes to things that could cause our well being damage. Or we often say No to things that would be good for us. Despite our intelligence and productivity, we still have a tendency to fear another’s reaction to the limit we set.
Real Women’s Wellness Tips
When attempting to find that work-life balance; try a few of these tips to reduce your cognitive stress:
- Learn to put your comparisons aside. You may make as much money as your neighbor, make homemade cookies like your best friend or cook like your mother but your strengths exist regardless of the comparisons with others.
- Think of some of your proudest accomplishments. How did you do it? Focus on how you succeeded. Try to use the strategies and strengths that have worked in the past when you are faced with a challenge.
- Express your needs in a way that can be heard. Try a soft opening, using “I” language to communicate your need. This may disarm your partner from their typical defensive posture.
- Self Care as a lifestyle – Start thinking of self care as a daily or weekly lifestyle as opposed to something you consume. Build your self-care routine that has options to include your partner as well.
If you find yourself feeling high levels of stress that decrease your ability to experience achievement and joy in the many facets of your life, contact an empathetic, understanding therapist at Silicon Valley Therapy so that we can help you start living the life you really want.
add’l content provided by Heather Morris, LCSW
