Addressing Death’s Hard Truth
Three Tips for the Grief Process
IMPACT OF DEATH and THE GRIEVING PROCESS
The death of a loved one is a complex and personal experience. Often, this experience results in a questioning of the beliefs of our coherent, predictable and controllable world. In addition, it confronts us with our own mortality and vulnerability, threatens group bonding and solidarity, brings up very diverse and deep emotions, and disrupts daily life.
MEANING OF DEATH
Human beings are constructors of meaning. When faced with a disruptive life event, people consciously and unconsciously search for meaning. This search takes place on an individual and group level and aims to find coherence. Based on belief systems, cultural values and social context, people construct their own meanings, which help them to interpret their experience, redefine their relationships with others and orient their actions towards meaningful goals.
Facing the death of a loved one, however painful and complicated it may be, can be an opportunity for personal growth and fulfillment. Families can recognize strengths and abilities.
Three Things to Consider after a Loved One’s Death
- Feeling Expression – it may be immediate, it may be intermittent, or it may take time but our grief is meant to be expressed. Our tears are there as an outward sign of our sadness. Our feelings of anger, sadness, worry and more should be conveyed in a safe place.
- Finding Safety – our culture struggles with the expression of grief. Find a safe place both physically and mentally to have your thoughts and feelings about death. Find a person who is okay with you being intense, angry, and depressed.
- Grief Identity – when you lose someone it becomes a part of you. Closure is not a goal but acceptance of this loss into your does. Know this grief gets less in intensity but does not often fully go away. Embrace it into your existence.
EMOTIONAL GRIEVING PROCESS
There are several emotions related to the death of a loved one, including sadness, anger, grief and guilt. Other emotions that may be experienced at the death of a loved one are shock and disbelief, premonition, and grief. There is no linear process to experience these emotions. They may happen simultaneously or “out of order”. The important part is to stay in a process, moving forward, and expressing outwardly.
Source: Norman, D. M. R. (2017). Cuando muere un ser querido… Variables asociadas a la vivencia ante la muerte. Revista Electrónica de Psicología Iztacala, 20(3), 1103.
Add’l Content Provided by:
David A Morris, LCSW
