Social Isolation Breeds Emotional Distance
Social connections start emotional bonds
Everyone experiences loneliness. Usually the feeling is temporary but our experience with the Covid-19 pandemic has left us with a sticky, sad residue. Social connections start the building blocks of emotional bonds.
Our Perception of Social and Emotional Distance
When the CDC recommended social distancing, how did we really interpret this? Did we truly just stay 6 feet away? Some people did and some people did not. The distance started as physical and social but soon equated to emotional. We may perceive we are taking time for ourselves but it is hard to separate physical, social and emotional. These three areas are interwoven and feed each other.
Four Ideas on How to Stay Connected
With the weather fluctuating more towards cold, here are some tips for social connections:
- Campfire! – Gather a small group of friends and build a controlled, small campfire. Tell stories, crack jokes, or vent about current situations in your life. There are times when just staring into the fire will provide a meditative moment that everyone can experience.
- Old School Stroll – Take a walk with a friend. As it gets colder, bundle up. Despite the weather elements, this is a great opportunity to connect with someone and experience your moment. We have a tendency to isolate inside as the weather changes. Instead, embrace the change and head outside with a friend or family member.
- Let It Snow – If it starts to snow, go sledding! We are never too old to have a little childish fun. If you don’t feel like sledding, build a snowman. Consider simply sitting in the chair outside with a cup of hot chocolate and chat with a friend.
- Find the Warmth of Aura – There are many places that provide physical warmth and the aura of others. You can connect with your community without even talking. Go to your local library, coffee shop, or book store. Interact with others in a typical fashion but add friendliness!
Research on Social Isolation
Research has shown that social isolation has a significant impact on both our mental and physical health. According to a study by the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine (completed prior to the Coronavirus outbreak), nearly 1/3 of adults 45 and older and 1/4 of adults 65 and older are already considered socially isolated. The study reports that social isolation leads to an increased risk of stroke, premature death, 50% increased chance of dementia, 68% increase chance of hospitalization, 29% increased chance of heart disease, and higher rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide. 1
Add to Your Social Calculated Risks
Taking calculated risks builds our resilience. We take risks every day. When we drive, we assume others will obey the laws and remain safe. We assume they will stay sober, stay in their lane and maintain speed. We apply some level of trust to their behavior. We can choose to stop driving or getting in cars/buses, but in doing so, we tend to isolate. Our choices influence our perception of self-care and independence.
Everyone’s Social Balance is Different
Another aspect to finding balance understands that everyone’s balance is different. What might seem like a healthy choice to you could be very unbalanced to another person. This goes back to socialization. Each person has a different quality or quantity of social needs. Identifying these needs and separating them from your wants is helpful. If you are feeling depressed, anxious, and lonely, it is important to make safe, healthy choices that reduce your social isolation. Only then will we all come out of this better than we started.
Add’l content provided by:
Shannon Lebak, LCSW
David A Morris, LCSW
